Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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