i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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