what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
