Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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