Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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