Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
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