They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
