omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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