I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
