dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
