other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Someone came in the potted fern
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
