K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
