saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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