there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
