Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
