Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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