Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
