he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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