I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
