The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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