just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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