My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you win again, gameday.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
