Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
