I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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