Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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