Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
