Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
