Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
