We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
