I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
