STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
