Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
and she was petting her beer can
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
