Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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