I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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