youre lurking in front of me
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
