So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
