Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
