She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
