It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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