last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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