I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The power of my boobs compel you
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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