Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
