is wine microwaveable?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
