Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
