That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
