kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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