Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
