my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize