you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
