yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
