Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
