i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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