Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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