I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
