I want to walk on stilts...naked
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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