drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
