It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
