Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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