Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
