I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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