She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
